


Slice of life

by StyAndTheBunnies



Category: Captain America - All Media Types, Iron Man - All Media Types, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: M/M, One Shot Collection, Slice of Life, Yaoi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-20
Updated: 2016-09-28
Packaged: 2018-08-16 10:13:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,749
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8098192
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StyAndTheBunnies/pseuds/StyAndTheBunnies
Summary: Original title, right? Just some one shots about the superhusbands, their life together, before their relationship, and so on. No chronological order.





	1. Smart stupid - Stupid smart.

**Author's Note:**

> Hello there!  
> It's my first time on this website, so please, be gentle! ♥  
> Also, I'd like to point out that English is not my native language (I'm French), so if there are any mistakes, please feel free to tell me! I hope I could improve my English this way!
> 
> That being said, enjoy your reading!

« SON of a... »

His voice came out without even thinking ; but it wasn't easy to shut up when angry. And more, when angry as Tony was. He looked up at the time, and for God's sake, he'd been on it for about twenty minutes now. Ridiculous. He didn't want to give up, of course -why would he? He was Iron Man, he defeated a full shit of aliens and monsters and whatever, and he was not in the mood to lose. Not right now, not ever. He cringed. Swore again. Kicked the table -which wasn't responsible for anything, by the way. He was about to lose his patience. Well, not like he had much anyway. Seconds til he'd choose to put on the armor and just, well, blast the entire thing. Breathing slowly did not help, and he was about to ask JARVIS for any MARK.  
_Breathe Tony. Breathe. It's alright. Fuck this._  
Well, thinking of it, using an armor was maybe, just **maybe** a little bit exagerate -whatever frustration he could feel right now. No excuses. He had other options. And, being honest, he liked these options... A bit more. A bit too much, in fact.

“STEEEEEEEEEEEEEVE!”

Not quite the right time, it seemed; no answer. He swore for the third time -well, at least the third he could remember- and growled.

“STEEEEVE, DAMMIT!”

Still not a sound to answer him. That was it; he was really mad.

“FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, STEVE FUCKING ROGERS, ANSWER ME!”

 _Breathe Tony, for real, that's bad for what you have._  
Bullshit. _Who cares_.

“WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK ARE YOU DOING, MISTER PERFECT TEETH? BANGING THE WHOLE COUNTRY?”

Eventually, the doors opened, revealing an annoyed Captain America -in casual clothes, though-, one or his earphones in his right hand when it wasn't the place for an _ear_ phone.

“What the heck, Tony? I heard you over several floors.”  
“WELL IT WAS TIME.”  
“Stop screaming, gosh. What's wrong?”  
“THIS. THIS IS WRONG.”

Steve's eyebrow raised. He stared at the jam pot Tony held in front of him, confused. **Confused** was an euphemism.

“I don't see what's wrong in strawberry jam.”

Tony sighed. Loudly.

“TAKE A HINT, EINSTEIN.” The billionaire breathed, visibly upset, then took upon himself. “I. Can't. Open. It.”  
“What?”  
“The fucking jar. Can't open it. About to blast it. I'm hungry.”

Steve had to bite his lips not to laugh. Genius billionaire? More like spoiled little boy. He sighed -just to fake annoyance- then took the jar. He glanced at his -pouting- lover; and, something like a second after, the noisy “clang¹” of an opened strawberry pot was heard. Steve gave it back, finally seeing a faint smile on Tony's face.  
He remained silent when the not-so-grown-up Stark spread jam on bread, before looking up to the sky.

“Aren't you supposed to be a super-hero? How come you can't open a jam pot?”  
“Sorry I'm not Captain Super Strength.”  
“Come on Tony... It's not about super strength...”  
“Well, obviously it is.”  
“Ok, admitting that, don't you have like... Robots or something useful in these, um... Emergency situations?”

Tony stared at him. He would _never_ let him know he liked to see his muscles work – particularly in the morning.

“I make robots to change lives. Not to eat breakfast.”

Steve seemed to give up; maybe it was too early to argue with Tony Stark. Or maybe he knew what the genius tried to hide.

“Fine.”

He turned around in order to head back to the bedroom, but stopped before leaving the kitchen.

“Oh, one more thing, Mister Genius-Playboy-Philanthropist-Whatever-You-Want-To-Describe-Yourself-As...”

Tony looked up at him, his toast halfway into his mouth. _Well, that could have been quite a lovely view if he hadn't have jam all over the beard._

“I don't **bang the whole country**.”

He gazed into Tony's eyes, breathing slowly but deeply. Silence around them, it quickly became surprisingly arousing. For both of them.

“Well,” Tony swallowed the part of the toast that was in his mouth, “who do you bang then?”

The voice was low, quite husky, and he could have sworn purring a bit. He tried to answer that – God knows he really did- but he eventually burst out laughing.

“I-I'm sorry Tony, I can't...” He wiped a tear. “I can't do that. You're... Like... Covered with strawberry jam... Like... You know... Your face is pretty red...”

Pouting again, the billionaire crossed his arms. That was upsetting. And quite humiliating. But, Tony being Tony, it didn't last. And so stopped Captain America's laughter when a chest came to rest against his and hands found their way to his national treasu- I mean, muscular, gorgeous butt.

“Why don't you clean me then?”  
“Aren't you supposed to be hungry?”  
“Well, right now I'm only hungry for you.”


	2. Short Message Service

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Where sleeping is needed but Tony likes texting Steve more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You know what I love? Fake texts conversation between superheroes. So, there you are.  
> Sorry it's a bit short, and as usual let me know if I made mistakes!

From : Tony  
1:15 PM  
« Dinner tonight ? »

From : Capsicle  
6:24 PM  
« I'm sorry, do you want to know what's for dinner or do you want to eat out with me tonight ? »

From : Tony  
6:25 PM  
« Do you even understand the concept of texting ? You're supposed to answer quickly. »

From : Tony  
6:26 PM  
« God, Steve, if I wanted you to answer next month, I'd have sent you a pigeon ! »

From : Capsicle  
6:29 PM  
« Sorry for doing things instead of staying home arguing with a computer. »

From : Tony  
6:30 PM  
« Are you talking about JARVIS ? 'Cause you're hurting his feelings. »

From : Capsicle  
6:35 PM  
« I'm talking about this new IA you made. You know, the one that took 100% of your free time these 15 last days ? »

From : Tony  
6:37 PM  
« Oh. I get it. You're jealous. »

From : Capsicle  
6:38 PM  
« I'm not. »

From : Tony  
6:38 PM  
« You definitely are. Did you miss me ? »

From : Capsicle  
6:39 PM  
« Did you even sleep ?»

From : Tony  
6:40 PM  
« Can't remember. Don't change the subject. »

From : Capsicle  
6:42 PM  
« Of course I missed you. I even miss you right now. »

From : Capsicle  
6:43 PM  
« Now, how much sleep-deprived are you ? I'm not even sure you ate or drank something else than energy bars and coffee. »

From : Capsicle  
7:03 PM  
« Tony ? Are you still there ? Are you sleeping ? »

From : Tony  
7:05  
« Nah, I'm fine. Just a bit surprised you confessed that easily. »

From : Tony  
7:05 PM  
« That was pleasantly cute though. »

From : Capsicle  
7:06 PM  
« … Idiot. »

From : Tony  
7:06 PM  
« You're so straightforward sometimes... »

From : Capsicle  
7:07 PM  
« Well, my name isn't Tony Stark so I use to express how I feel. »

From : Tony  
7:08 PM  
« Savage. »

From : Tony  
7:08 PM  
« Coming back to the subject, I wanted to take you out for dinner. What do you want to eat ? French, Italian ? »

From : Capsicle  
7:10 PM  
« I don't want you to collapse in the middle of a restaurant. How about dining home ? »

From : Tony  
7:11 PM  
« Ok, I'll order something then. »

From : Capsicle  
7:15 PM  
« Don't. I'm coming home, I'll cook something. It won't be long but I'd like you to rest a bit meanwhile. »

From : Tony  
7:16 PM  
« What are you, my mom ? »

From : Capsicle  
7:18 PM  
« Don't start. »

From : Tony  
7:19 PM  
« Ok mom. »

From : Capsicle  
7:20 PM  
« Tony, I swear to God... »

From : Tony  
7:21 PM  
« That's not the only thing you'll say to God tonight. »

From : Capsicle  
7:23 PM  
« Oh no, don't even think about sexting me while I'm mad at you. »

From : Tony  
7:24 PM  
« Why not ? We can bet if you'll get home angry or horny. »

From : Capsicle  
7:25 PM  
« I'm not answering any of your sext. What do you want for dinner ? »

From : Tony  
7:25 PM  
« Challenge ! I like that. »

From : Tony  
7:26 PM  
« I want a traditionnal american dish. »

From : Capsicle  
7:28 PM  
« Like corn and bacon ? »

From : Tony  
7:29 PM  
« … I was talking about you Steve. »

From : Tony  
7:32 PM  
« I wanna eat you »

From : Tony  
7:33 PM  
« Every part of you »

From : Tony  
7:36 PM  
« (Well, mostly a specific part, but still) »

From : Tony  
7:40 PM  
« … Steve ? »

From : Steve  
7:41 PM  
« Yes ? »

From : Tony  
7:41 PM  
« Oh, you're still here. I thought something happened. You didn't answer. »

From : Steve  
7:43 PM  
« Told you I wouldn't answer your sexts. »

From : Tony  
7:44 PM  
« How mean ! »

From : Steve  
7:45 PM  
« You make me do this, love. »

From : Tony  
7:45 PM  
« … What now ? »

From : Tony  
7:46 PM  
« Ooooh are you trying to call me ridiculous names to make me stop ? Cause that's not gonna happen. »

From : Tony  
7:46 PM  
« Oh, I know, let's see which one of us will give up first. »

From : Steve  
7:47 PM  
« Go to sleep, Tony. I'm almost there anyway. »

From : Tony  
7:48 PM  
« Well, I'm not tired anymore since you're almost there and my hand's already in my pants.  
Oh wait.  
I have no pants ! »

From : Steve  
7:53 PM  
« We need spices and milk, sweetheart. I'll drop by the store to get some. »

From : Tony  
7:54 PM  
« Nice try. »

From : Tony  
7:54 PM  
« But you're spicy and milky enough for me. »

From : Tony  
8:02 PM  
« … Steve ? »

From : Tony  
8:12 PM  
« … ? »

From : Tony  
8:14 PM  
« … Come on big guy, use some stupid nickname so I can add something dirty »

From : Steve  
8:17 PM  
« Sorry, I was chatting with the cashier. She was nice, even helped me out. »

From : Tony  
8:18 PM  
« … She ? »

From : Steve  
8:19 PM  
« … Yes Tony, it's when a human being is female. »

From : Tony  
8:22 PM  
« … No shit Sherlock. So, was she pretty ? »

From : Steve  
8:23 PM  
« Not my type. But I liked the way she talked. »

From : Tony  
8:23 PM  
«  Oh really ? »

From : Steve  
8:25 PM  
« Yeah. She put her hand on her mouth when she almost swore. »

From : Tony  
8:26 PM  
« Are you really going to talk about her ? » 

From : Steve  
8:27 PM  
« Seems to stop your sexts, so yeah. »

From : Steve  
8:27 PM  
« But tell me something, do I look that innocent when I say « language » ? »

From : Tony  
8:28 PM  
« I don't know what she looks like, but I'm sure you're 200% hotter when you say « language ». »

From : Tony  
8:28 PM  
« Now hurry up home. I'll rest while you'll be cooking. »

From : Steve  
8:29 PM  
« Roger that. »

From : Tony  
8:30 PM  
« Not funny. »

**Author's Note:**

> ¹ - Is that even the right onomatopoeia? Tell me! ^w^


End file.
